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Drive Me To Distraction by Caitlyn Nicholas
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Why old folk can drive me to distraction
Talk incessantly about how much driving stinks and how willing you are to drive? Ask the driver to pull over.
Get out of the car and just start walking? Like many people who feed a compulsion, amaxophobic drivers are master manipulators. One key strategy for ensuring that you are always the one behind the wheel is to convince all those around you how horrible driving can be. That means calling attention to statistics or news stories that report the negative effects of commuting. If you see a story showing that driving is bad for your blood pressure it is , tweet it immediately and send it out to friends and co-workers as an e-mail blast.
If you're married, in a committed relationship or merely killing time with someone you thought you liked, be sure to compliment that person on being a great navigator.
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Even if you don't need directions, ask for them and after receiving them, say something like, "Wow babe, what a great navigator you are. You have an amazing sense of direction! Secrecy is also a big part of amaxophobia. You need to hide the fact that, by always being the one driving especially if you have children , you are getting out of a myriad of crappy jobs and duties. Ask yourself this question: In a couple, which person is responsible for juggling iPads, doling out food, reading books, leading cheerful songs, all forms of discipline, being responsible for you getting lost and talking to you to keep you awake?
It's not the guy who says, "I can't do it — I'm driving. When driving, all you have to do is keep your eyes on the road and maintain supreme control over the sound system. And when the drive is over everyone thanks you for doing a good job.
Nobody ever thanks the passenger. I managed to get through my California weekend. Consider it exposure therapy. I now know I can be in the passenger seat and keep my sanity and identity intact.
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The flight home was a breeze. After all, as confident as I am in my skills I know that flying an Airbus is beyond my grasp. After going through customs, I got in my car. It was late and the highway was free of traffic, or at least as free of traffic as it ever gets. I put the radio on and cracked the window. It felt good to cruise through the darkness past the condo lights and garish billboards.
I was once again in the driver's seat. If you have questions about driving or car maintenance, please contact our experts at globedrive globeandmail. Add us to your circles. Sign up for our weekly newsletter. This is a space where subscribers can engage with each other and Globe staff. Non-subscribers can read and sort comments but will not be able to engage with them in any way. Click here to subscribe.
Drive Me To Distraction
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