Download PDF Puns Spooken Here: Word Play for Halloween

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You can decide whether you agree or disagree. Somewhat reluctantly I said no to "What do you call two witches living together? But I said yes enthusiastically to "What do you call a witch's garage? Anyhow, here are the finalists. I hope you get as many giggles, if not guffaws, out of them or—dare I say—"cackles" or "howls" as I did. On Halloween, parents send their kids out looking like me. All my life my parents said, "Never take candy from strangers. I'd knock on people's doors and go, "Trick or treat.

This Halloween the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him. I dressed up as a veterinarian for a Halloween costume party. I had a lab coat. And I got a couple of stuffed animals for patients and put bandages on them. Being in a band you can wear whatever you want--it's like an excuse for Halloween everyday. Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it. May your every wish be granted. There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people: And now for the really zany—but, for the most part, marvelously ingenious!

Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? What does a vampire fear the most? Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? Their bats flew away. What's a monster's favorite play?

12 Wordplay Halloween Costumes

When does a skeleton laugh? When something tickles his funny bone. What did the skeleton say to the bartender?


I'll have two beers and a mop. What do birds give out on Halloween night? What do you give to a pumpkin trying to quit smoking? Who are some of the werewolves cousins?

We fear vampires, and vampires fear . . . tooth decay (!).

The whatwolves, the whowolves, and the whenwolves. Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? He didn't have a haunting license. Who won the skeleton beauty contest? What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope that it's Halloween!!! If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween. And maybe, just maybe, that's what this freakish, bizarre holiday is all about: To remind us to be adventurous, bold, daring—and not get trapped in the everyday routine of our "normal" identity. If this assemblage of witticisms tickles your, er-, funny bone, please consider forwarding its link to friends and family.

Halloween Puns That’ll Have Everyone Howling

Remember, in this all-too-serious world we need as many laughs as we can get. Moreover, to explore in greater depth the anxiety-based foundation of this strange holiday, see my complementary post, "Halloween Quotes: I really like your work, Doc - both the serious and the fun stuff. Yesterday I read the "Biological Cock" series, and found your perspective charming.

By the way, I apologize if my comments appear multiple times. I'm not trying to nag you; I just seem to have a computer compatibility issue with certain websites. The joke about the Jack-O-Lantern has the words "diameter" and "circumference" mixed up. Anyhow, I made the change and acknowledge you for catching this. Obviously, the jokester who came up with this knew more from humor than from math. What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its circumference? One of these "circumference" instances should be diameter. My math isn't good enough to remember which, lol.

I loved your piece. I just posted one of my own with only a couple of overlaps so I thought your readers might enjoy it. Today shoes is one of the leading element of fashion and people chose shoes very carefully with quality and price. This femininity — a natural charm, complemented by bright and showy clothes. For best effect, it requires both the riddler and the riddlee to know two things: As such, don't expect to hear it from many 7-year-olds:.

Did you hear about the invisible man? He was invisible, and his wife wasn't much to look at either? Your second one was so good that I added it to my post--next to what you get when you drop a pumpkin. Research shows that optimally asserting authority is best done with humility. What you need to know about empathy and compassion fatigue — and its remedies. Back Psychology Today Australia. Inequality as a Lethal Disorder. Leon F Seltzer Ph.

5 Easy Halloween Costumes For Pun Lovers

Follow me on Twitter. An elaborate wordplay-inspired get-up worn to a Halloween party. But no need to fear—the ailment is relatively short-lived. By November 1, all signs and symptoms miraculously clear up on their own.

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The most common answer? Henry Pun-Off World Championships. So what do we do? Take the edge off with a little humor. Last Minute Halloween Costumes.

12 Wordplay Halloween Costumes | Mental Floss

According to Richard Lederer, award-winning linguist and author of pun-filled books like Puns Spooken Here and Get Thee to a Punnery , Halloween offers wordsmiths a rich array of vivid characters, signs, and symbols to play around with. He mentions that, in the past, making a joke about the afterlife could be considered sacrilegious, but the secularization of the holiday invites new opportunities to lightheartedly grapple with the subject matter.

Here are some of our favorite Halloween puns, shared by some of our favorite comedians. Word Play for Halloween , by Richard Lederer.