Guide Second-Chance Mother: A Memoir

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He was a grown man, with a history that fell far short of what she had envisioned for him when she'd been assured he would be "better off" without her. His adoptive parents had essentially given up on him at age thirteen, sending him away with only an eighth-grade education. He drifted through a series of institutions and group homes, and ultimately onto the New York City streets, where he fell into drugs and crime. When an early marriage failed, he and his young wife surrendered an infant and toddler to adoption.

By the time Denise and her son reunited, he was in his second marriage to a teenaged runaway who was six months pregnant with their first child. Despite her disappointment and his obvious problems, Denise was determined to restore their severed bond and give him the unconditional love that had been lacking in her own childhood.

At the same time, she struggled with her parents' adverse reaction to her reunion and their refusal to acknowledge their grandson's existence. The shameful event that they had worked so vigorously to bury was back to haunt them. They could not accept their daughter's happiness at having found her lost child.

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Still reeling in the overwhelming mix of joy and grief, gratitude and guilt triggered by reunion with her son, Denise received a letter from an aunt she never knew existed. Aunt Mabel revealed some startling information about Denise's mother, who had claimed to be an only child raised by a kindly couple after both her parents passed away. In truth, she was one of nine siblings tossed to the winds by their mother after the death of their father in As she got to know her new-found aunts, uncles and cousins, Denise became obsessed with understanding how her grandmother could desert her children and how her mother, who so clearly bore the scars of abandonment, could then force her own daughter to give up a child.

A year into their reunion, after Josh's wife left him with their ten-month-old daughter, the rage that he had initially denied surfaced. Denise went from feeling like a new mom to the frustrated parent of an out-of-control teenager. In the face of his angry outbursts and threats to cut her off, she remained intent on "fixing" him, believing that, in time, she could heal his wounds.

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SECOND CHANCE: A MEMOIR

If you are a seller for this product, would you like to suggest updates through seller support? When Denise Roessle became a mother at 45, her long-held dream came true. She felt as if she were 19 again, the age at which she got pregnant out of wedlock and relinquished her newborn son for adoption. Joshua was looking for a mom. Eager to embrace the second chance she had been granted, Denise leapt wholeheartedly into the role.

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But Joshua was not a boy. His adoptive parents had essentially given up on him at age thirteen, sending him away with only an eighth-grade education. He drifted through a series of institutions and group homes, and ultimately onto the New York City streets, where he fell into drugs and crime. When an early marriage failed, he and his young wife surrendered an infant and toddler to adoption. By the time Denise and her son reunited, he was in his second marriage to a teenaged runaway who was six months pregnant with their first child. Despite her disappointment and his obvious problems, Denise was determined to restore their severed bond and give him the unconditional love that had been lacking in her own childhood.

The shameful event that they had worked so vigorously to bury was back to haunt them. Still reeling in the overwhelming mix of joy and grief, gratitude and guilt triggered by reunion with her son, Denise received a letter from an aunt she never knew existed. In truth, she was one of nine siblings tossed to the winds by their mother after the death of their father in As she got to know her new-found aunts, uncles and cousins, Denise became obsessed with understanding how her grandmother could desert her children and how her mother, who so clearly bore the scars of abandonment, could then force her own daughter to give up a child.

Denise went from feeling like a new mom to the frustrated parent of an out-of-control teenager. Once more, she put her own pain aside and stood by him as he married twice more and fathered another child. In the silence of their estrangement, she began the hard work that ultimately allowed her to resolve her own issues, reclaim the young woman she had left behind after surrendering what turned out to be her only child, and make peace with the past. She found acceptance and forgiveness for her mother, her son, and ultimately herself. Read more Read less.

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Here's how restrictions apply. Start reading Second-Chance Mother: A Memoir on your Kindle in under a minute. Don't have a Kindle? Try the Kindle edition and experience these great reading features: Share your thoughts with other customers. Write a customer review. Read reviews that mention second chance second-chance mother denise roessle birth mother chance mother well written adoption reunion roller coaster read this book thank you denise unconditional love relationship with my mother ups and downs child for adoption must read thought provoking long time true story side of adoption recommend this book.

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Second-chance Mother: A Memoir - Denise Roessle - Google Книги

There aren't that many "birthmother" books out there. I've read a few this past year and just finished reading Denise's book last night.


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In fact I stayed up to 3 AM to finish it. This is not something I routinely do.

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If you are in any way connected to adoption If you have a friend that was adopted or one who gave up a child For me as an adoptee that found my birth family 36 yrs. I'm still working on my issues. I'll probably be working on them until my last day on this earth. That's just how it is. I wish my birthmother could have told me things about herself and that we could have had a better relationship after our initial reunion.

Things were good at first but time and distance made having a relationship very difficult. I didn't try hard enough I guess and neither did she. You have to value the relationship enough to make it a success. I have no idea what kind of pain my BM had during or after her pregnancy and my birth. Denise's son is lucky that he has the opportunity to ask questions and get honest answers.

He's lucky that Denise made every effort to be a mother from the very start which is what he said he wanted and needed. She had to jump in with both feet and deal with somebody who was already an adult.

A person that somebody else had already tried to raise. That is beyond hard, if not impossible. I was in awe of her generous and courageous attitude towards everybody and everything through-out the story. She seems like a Saint to me. In reading this book I could tell that she had worked on it for a long time - had gone back and made revisions and corrections. I was impressed not to find typo's and poor editing. Because so many of the adoption related books I've read lately are in great need of an editor.

Especially the self published ones. This book had a polished and professional feel to it. There is a flow and a cohesiveness in how she writes. Plus she doesn't try to water it down or sugar coat it. Her dialogue techniques make you feel like you are right there listening to the conversations with your own ears.


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Not every writer can accomplish this. My personal feelings about the characters in the book are strong because they were well written. All during the book I felt as if something was medically wrong with Josh. Not that he was a bad person - but that he was Bi-polar or had some disorder that was affecting his behavior. We all don't act like that. His behavior seems indicative of a much more serious problem that requires an M. You find out you have it and you go get help for it. Yet, I wanted to like him and I rooted for him that he would figure things out and have a happy ending.

The good thing is that this is still an ongoing saga of a family working like other families to be healthy and whole. It's not over yet. One thing Denise did not address was hereditary health problems. Adoptees have to worry about this if they do not find out who their parents were.